


falling down the rabbit hole again

by killsometime



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Age Swap, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27658625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killsometime/pseuds/killsometime
Summary: Taeil wakes up in a universe where he's the youngest in 127, and Donghyuck is the oldest.So much is different, but Donghyuck and Taeil are still the same.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 83
Kudos: 274





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this first on my Twitter, but I'm also posting here because I think it's easier to read on AO3! 
> 
> My twt is @cutietaeilie
> 
> Fic title comes from the song 'Apollo' by Last Dinosaurs (but particularly the Skylar Spence remix).

Taeil wakes up to the sight and sound of a bleary-eyed Johnny blow drying his hair. 

“Johnny? What are you doing here?” he asks. Johnny blinks in confusion, hair flapping under the force of the hair dryer. 

“I live here?” Johnny replies. Taeil looks around. He’s in Johnny and Donghyuck’s bedroom, except all of Donghyuck’s things are missing, and in their place are things that Taeil loosely recognizes as his own. 

“Where’s Yuta?” he asks. 

“In his dorm probably,” Johnny answers, shutting off the hairdryer. “Is something up? You’re being weird.”

“Why am I here?” he asks. 

“Because you live here?” Johnny answers. 

“Donghyuck rooms with you.” 

“No he doesn’t. He rooms with Yuta.” 

“Huh? I room with Yuta.” 

“Taeil, what’s wrong? Are you sick?” 

Just then, Taeil gets a glimpse of himself in the mirror where Johnny had been looking at himself. He doesn’t look a day over twenty-one. His cheeks are still soft, the tiny lines around his eyes are gone, and his hair is cropped short. 

“Johnny, I don’t mean to alarm you but how old am I?” he asks nervously. 

“You’re twenty-one,” Johnny answers. “I’m calling a manager.” 

“I’m fine. Really. I’m just… I’m pretty sure that I’m supposed to be twenty-seven.” 

“Twenty-seven? That’s Donghyuck. Taeil, did you hit your head in your sleep somehow?” Johnny asks. 

“Donghyuck is twenty-seven? And I’m twenty-one?” Taeil asks. Johnny’s brow is furrowed. 

“Uh yeah? Hold on, the manager is coming.”

Taeil doesn’t hesitate. He heads for the front door and down the hallway to the elevator, Johnny tailing behind him. 

“Stop -- Taeil! You’re hurt. You need to go to the hospital-” 

“I’m not hurt!” Taeil says, hitting the button for the tenth floor. 

“What are you doing here so early? We thought you’d be sleeping,” Jungwoo teases. 

“I’m up,” Taeil mumbles. 

“He’s hurt-” Johnny starts to say. Jungwoo looks concerned suddenly, stepping closer to Taeil. 

“Again, I’m not hurt,” Taeil interrupts loudly. 

At the sound of his voice someone pops their head out of what should be Taeil and Yuta’s room. It’s unmistakably Donghyuck, but it’s Donghyuck seven years older than Taeil knows. His hair is dark brown, and there’s muscle on his arms that definitely isn’t on his younger self. His facial features have settled into a masculine kind of handsomeness. It’s startling to Taeil to see his dongsaeng so… grown-up. 

“I didn’t know you were coming up here,” Donghyuck says with a warm smile. “You should’ve texted me.”

Taeil just stares. The way that Donghyuck is looking at him is nothing like how younger Donghyuck looks at older Taeil. This Donghyuck is looking at him with fondness and something warmer, like Taeil is the best thing he’s ever seen. 

“Taeil-ah?” Donghyuck asks. “Earth to Taeil?”

“Taeil hit his head and thinks that he’s twenty-seven,” Johnny says, and suddenly seemingly every group manager converges on them.

//

It’s a long day at the hospital. Taeil is poked, prodded, and tested. The doctors can’t find anything wrong with him. No concussion. No cancer. No brain damage. No infection. Nothing other than the fact that he fell asleep as a twenty-seven year old and woke up as a twenty-one year old. He’s the youngest of NCT 127. He’s a part of NCT Dream. For all effects and purposes, he’s switched lives with Donghyuck.

Donghyuck who keeps messaging Taeil and the managers to see how he’s doing and ask if there’s any news. Donghyuck who waits on the fifth floor at midnight for Taeil to get back to personally see how he’s doing. Donghyuck who ordered all of Taeil’s favourite foods for him. 

“It’s so you can get better faster,” he explains as Taeil pokes at his food. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me,” Taeil says. The smile on Donghyuck’s face wavers. 

“Do you remember... us?” 

“Of course I remember you. Just, as a twenty-one year old,” Taeil answers. 

“I see,” Donghyuck says carefully. He forces a smile on his face. “So… What were we like in your memory?”

“Like the oldest and the youngest,” Taeil answers. “I took care of you, and you bothered me.” 

“I see,” Donghyuck says in a strained voice. “Well. I like to take care of you, and I’m the oldest so I guess that’ll be an adjustment for you.”

  
//

Life has to go on. The show has to go on. Taeil talks to the company and all they tell him is that as long as he wants to perform, he’ll stay. 

His lines and choreography for 127 are still the same, and he knows most of Donghyuck’s lines in Dream songs from hearing Donghyuck practice them so often. He’s surprised to find that somehow his body has the Dream choreography memorized. He spends hours practicing with Dream and the choreographers, making sure that everything is perfect but he fits right in. 

“I can’t believe you remember all of this,” Chenle says. “Half the time Jaemin can’t remember our choreography and he’s always been in Dream.”

“That’s not true!” Jaemin squawks.

“That makes sense that you know Donghyuck-hyung’s parts from spending time with him though. Of course he’s just as obsessed with you in an alternate universe,” Renjun says. Taeil rolls his eyes. 

“Hyung is not,” he says. “He just likes all of you.”

“Mmm,” Jisung says with a laugh. “I don’t know about that. He doesn’t come to the company to take all of us out to dinner. Or send all of us teddy bears with motivational messages. Or-“

“Okay, okay,” Taeil interrupts. “We should practice again. I think I messed up on 1,2,3 last time.”

//

The biggest adjustment is Taeil’s interactions with the other members. They’re all a little awkward around him initially, aware that he’s the same but different. The youngest but the oldest. 

But then there’s the fact that Taeil is used to bossing the younger members around — now he’s the one being bossed around. The only one who doesn’t boss him around is Donghyuck. 

“Neither of us care about age difference,” Donghyuck says when Doyoung asks about it, slinging an arm over Taeil’s shoulder. “We’re cosmopolitan.”

“You made me do your laundry the other day and when I asked why, you said good dongsaengs don’t ask questions,” Mark protests. 

“Did I?” Donghyuck asks, pulling Taeil closer to him.

“Yes,” Mark, Jungwoo, and Yuta say in unison. 

“Taeil-ah is different though,” Donghyuck says, and reaches down to squeeze Taeil’s ass. Jaehyun feigns vomiting.

//

Taeil is lying in bed watching TV when his phone buzzes with a message. 

donghyuck  
Come play kart rider upstairs

taeil  
Im tired, im probably going to go to bed early tonight

donghyuck  
Are you ignoring me?

taeil  
no im just tired

donghyuck  
Im coming down

Just a few minutes later, Taeil can hear the sound of the front door unlocking and footsteps coming through the dorm. He sighs. In this universe, Donghyuck is just as clingy.

Donghyuck doesn’t even knock, he just barges right into Taeil’s room. Taeil regrets not leaving with Johnny to go shopping. 

“Is everything okay?” Donghyuck asks softly. He’s dressed for bed, his hair unstyled. Taeil swallows. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Taeil answers. 

Without any hesitation, Donghyuck lifts up the covers and curls up beside him. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Comforting you,” Donghyuck says. He’s warm beside Taeil.

“I’m okay.”

“It’s seven at night on a Friday Taeil-ah.”

“I’m just tired.” Taeil answers. 

Donghyuck shifts so he’s lying on his side, staring at Taeil. Taeil feels warm under his gaze. 

“You know that you can tell hyung anything right?” Donghyuck asks, reaching out to stroke Taeil’s face gently. “You’ve been practicing so hard but I can tell that this is weird for you.” 

//

Yuta puts down the fried chicken in front of Taeil.

“Thank you oppa!” Taeil says in a high-pitched voice. Jungwoo giggles and Yuta rolls his eyes. 

“Who are you calling oppa?” Donghyuck asks, staring at Taeil. 

“Yuta.” 

“Why?” 

“Because it’s funny,” Taeil answers, narrowing his eyes at Donghyuck. 

“If you feel like joking then you should only call me oppa,” Donghyuck says. 

“Yes oppa,” Taeil says flatly. Donghyuck chokes on his beer. Yuta and Jungwoo cackle. 

“I didn’t know you liked being called that,” Jungwoo says. “Oppa.”

“Only Taeil can call me oppa,” Donghyuck says with a sniff. “He’s the youngest.”

“Jungwoo is two years older than me!” Taeil protests. 

“Yes. You’re my baby, not Jungwoo,” Donghyuck replies, cooing at Taeil. Yuta and Jungwoo have stopped laughing. They look horrified.

“Eww,” Yuta says. “No funny at all.” 

“It shouldn’t be funny,” Donghyuck says. “It’s just a fact that I’m Taeil’s oppa.”

“I think I’m going to barf,” Jungwoo says. Taeil stares at his food. 

//

There’s no other way to put it -- Taeil feels awkward around Donghyuck. Taeil lied to older Donghyuck, Donghyuck took care of Taeil far more than Taeil took care of Donghyuck. It was funny that Donghyuck was so mature and caring for his oldest hyung despite being the youngest. 

But now it’s less funny. This Donghyuck is older and more thoughtful. He’s always doing things for Taeil. 

This Donghyuck doesn’t wear hoodies and sweatpants, he wears trousers and leather jackets. This Donghyuck is confident of himself and his place in the world.

If Taeil didn’t know any better, he’d think that he had a crush on this Donghyuck.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s strange getting used to living on the fifth floor. Taeil loves Johnny, Taeyong, and Doyoung, but he misses his floormates. He ends up spending half of his time in the dorm on the tenth floor with Jungwoo, Jaehyun, Yuta, and Mark. 

And of course Donghyuck is there too— he lives there. He seems the most delighted of all of them whenever Taeil comes to visit, always hugging him. 

One evening Taeil is on the tenth floor watching TV with Jungwoo and Donghyuck. They have the heat turned down low and Taeil finds himself shivering. 

“Are you cold?” Donghyuck asks. 

“A little,” Taeil admits. 

Donghyuck takes off his hoodie and tosses it to Taeil. 

“I’m okay,” Taeil says. “You’ll be cold.”

“Don’t worry about me,” Donghyuck replies. “I can always cuddle up to you if I get cold.”

“Taeil is the best teddy bear!” Jungwoo says and pinches Taeil’s cheek.

“I’m not,” Taeil grumbles.

“You are,” Donghyuck says. Taeil pulls the hoodie on with pink cheeks. “Hold on.” 

He reaches up and adjusts Taeil’s hair, his touch gentle. Taeil is aware of how much pinker his cheeks get. 

“It’s fine,” he says. “You can leave it.” Donghyuck retracts his hand.

“I’m gonna go get some water,” Jungwoo says. 

Taeil is left alone with a staring Donghyuck. Without his hoodie, Taeil can see the defined muscles on Donghyuck’s arms and shoulders. He stares down at his feet. The hoodie smells like Donghyuck’s deodorant. 

“Are you hungry?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil shakes his head. 

“I’m good.” 

“Thirsty?”

“No.” 

“Okay.”

An awkward silence falls over them. Taeil wonders what’s taking Jungwoo so long for a glass of water. Donghyuck keeps casting him looks and he stares down at his hands, trying not to get distracted. 

“Have I done something?” Donghyuck asks. 

“No,” Taeil says, his voice a little squeaky.

“Mmm.”

“I brought water!” Jungwoo announces, coming back into the living room with the pitcher from the fridge. Taeil busies himself with pouring a glass. 

“I thought you said you weren’t thirsty,” Donghyuck says. 

“Shh!” Jungwoo says and unpauses the TV. Taeil has never been more grateful in his life.

//

Taeil is the last one to leave dance practice with Dream, staying longer to run through choreo again. 

He’s coming out of the practice room when he hears music playing down the hall. He knows that the female trainees have already left for the night and he wasn’t aware of anybody else coming in on this particular day. 

Taeil peeks through the window on the door and his mouth falls open. It’s Donghyuck dancing alone to a song that Taeil doesn’t recognize.

He’s wearing a practically see through tank top and baggy sweatpants. Suddenly Taeil can’t make his feet move. He’s always known that Donghyuck is a good dancer -- it’s a fact. But this Donghyuck has had six years of extra practice and it shows. 

His hips gyrate and his footwork is impeccable. And then Donghyuck kneels to the ground and starts slowly grinding his hips in the air. He looks like he’s fucking somebody, and he’s just dancing. Taeil feels like a voyeur but he doesn’t want to move. He should walk into the room and announce himself instead of watching Donghyuck dance like a creep, but he doesn’t want to. 

For a moment Taeil wonders what would happen if he met this Donghyuck at a nightclub, if he’d dance with him. If he’d let Donghyuck buy him a drink. 

If he’d let Donghyuck kiss him. 

“Taeil!” he hears, and returns to reality to see Donghyuck holding the door open. Sweat drips down his face. Taeil wonders what it would taste like. 

“Oh. It’s you,” he says in response. “I wondered who was making all that noise.”

“Are you done practicing?” Donghyuck asks. “We can go home together.” 

“Yeah, I’m all done,” Taeil forces his mouth to say. He can see every detail of Donghyuck’s chest in the tank top. 

He waits for Donghyuck to get his stuff, staring at the floor instead of the hair sticking to the back of Donghyuck’s neck. 

They go down to the van together, Donghyuck’s arm brushing against Taeil’s arm the whole time. 

//

The drive home is quiet. Donghyuck connects his phone to the Bluetooth in the van and plays some quiet music.

“Do you want to get dinner together this weekend?” Donghyuck asks. “I feel like we haven’t gone out lately.” 

Taeil’s heart beats a little faster at Donghyuck’s words.

“Sure,” he says. “I’ll invite the others.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck replies. “I meant just us but that works too.”

Taeil bites his lip.

“We can do just us.”

Donghyuck sends him a smile. 

“I need my Taeil time. You know I don’t like to share.”

Taeil knows that Donghyuck is joking, but he feels himself blush anyways.

“You can always have Taeil time,” he says. Donghyuck leans in closer and takes his hand. 

“Good,” Donghyuck says, holding Taeil’s hand tightly. “What do you feel like eating? My treat.”

“I can pay too!”

“As if I’d let you pay. What kind of hyung would I be?” Donghyuck asks. 

Taeil rolls his eyes.

“I thought you said you didn’t care about age.”

“I don’t,” Donghyuck says, his thumb stroking Taeil’s hand. “But I want to take care of you.”

“I want beef,” Taeil says, his throat tight. “And noodles.”

//

Taeil takes a long time to decide what to wear to dinner with Donghyuck. He usually doesn’t care about what he wears, and he knows that Donghyuck has seen him in all kinds of baggy and comfortable clothes. 

But still, he hovers in front of his closet.

“What are you doing?” Johnny asks, scaring Taeil. 

“Trying to decide what to wear,” he answers. 

“Uh. Okay? But you’re already dressed.”

“I’m in sweatpants.”

“And?” 

“I’m going out for dinner and I want to look just a little nicer,” Taeil says. Johnny’s face morphs into a grin. 

“Why didn’t you just say? Okay, what about those tight black jeans and that silky top with a leather jacket on top?” 

“How did you… Okay, nevermind. I’ll wear it.”

“When’s Donghyuck coming to pick you up?” Johnny asks. Taeil blinks at him. 

“How did you know I’m going for dinner with Donghyuck?” 

“Lucky guess,” Johnny answers. 

//

Donghyuck knocks on Taeil’s bedroom door five minutes before they were supposed to meet. He’s wearing dress pants, a button-up shirt, and a sports coat. His hair is styled differently than usual. He looks like he’s dressed for a date. 

“I thought we were meeting downstairs,” Taeil says, tugging at his shirt. He feels a little thrown off 

“I thought I’d walk you down,” Donghyuck replies with a smile. 

“You didn’t have to.” 

“I wanted to.”

Donghyuck hovers at the door while Taeil takes one last look in the mirror and grabs his jacket. 

“You look nice,” Donghyuck says, his eyes sweeping over Taeil. 

“Thank you,”

“Are you wearing lip tint?” 

“A little,” Taeil asks. He doesn’t comment on the fact that Donghyuck was looking at his lips. 

On the way downstairs Taeil looks at the two of them in the mirrored walls of the elevator. Donghyuck was just growing taller than him in the other universe -- this Donghyuck is almost four inches taller than him and that makes Taeil’s stomach tingle slightly. 

Donghyuck is behaving strangely too. He holds every possible door for Taeil, and pulls out Taeil’s chair at the restaurant.   
“Order whatever you want,” Donghyuck says. “You’re looking a little skinny these days.” 

Taeil looks down at himself. He’s lost a little weight with all the dancing, but he didn’t think it was noticeable. 

They end up ordering a feast -- all kinds of cuts of beef, four kinds of dumpling and jeon, two different kinds of soup, and a bottle of wine between the two of them. 

Once the food arrives, Donghyuck won’t even let Taeil grill the meat, and instead extends his chopsticks with a bite of kimchi and rice towards Taeil’s face.

“What?” he asks.

“Open up,” Donghyuck instructs and moves the chopsticks closer to Taeil’s mouth. 

“Uh.”

“Taeil-ie,” Donghyuck says, his voice strangely low. 

Taeil opens his mouth and takes the food. 

“Mmm,” he says. Donghyuck smiles before reaching down to pick up another bite to feed Taeil. “I can feed myself,” Taeil says. 

“But I want to feed you,” Donghyuck says, half-pouting. The expression is irritating on a young Donghyuck, but downright lethal on an older Donghyuck. Taeil is opening his mouth before he even realizes. 

He’s full at the end of the meal -- Donghyuck had insisted on feeding him bites throughout the whole dinner so he ended up eating more than he would’ve otherwise eaten. 

After dinner they wander down the street for a bit, looking at the storefronts and digesting their food. 

“Do you want to watch a movie when we get home? Yuta is out for the night,” Donghyuck says when they’ve reached the end of the shopping area they’ve been looking through.

“Sure,” Taeil answers, feeling strangely self-conscious. 

//

The light is on under Jaehyun and Jungwoo’s door when Taeil and Donghyuck get back to the dorm, but Mark’s room is dark and quiet. Just as Donghyuck said, Yuta is out for the night. 

It’s Taeil’s first time in this Donghyuck’s room. It looks awfully similar to his room as a twenty-one year old — gaming computer, family photos, pile of cozy clothes, and all. 

Something next to the photos of Donghyuck’s family catches Taeil’s eye. It’s a photo of the two of them standing side-by-side — Donghyuck’s arm is wrapped around Taeil’s shoulders, and Taeil’s hand is resting on Donghyuck’s stomach. 

“Why do you have this here?” Taeil asks, picking the photo up. Donghyuck has a strange look on his face.

“I like the photo,” Donghyuck answers. “I guess you don’t remember taking it.”

“I don’t,” Taeil says. “Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault or anything,” Donghyuck replies brightly. Taeil feels strangely guilty, as if there’s something important he’s missing. 

//

“Come cuddle with your hyung,” Donghyuck wheedles, in an awfully similar tone to how he pleads with Taeil at age twenty-one. 

Taeil sits down on the bed beside Donghyuck, but Donghyuck makes a noise of protest and then actually shifts Taeil onto his legs. 

“Uh?” 

“I said to come cuddle,” Donghyuck says, and spreads his legs so Taeil can sit between them. Taeil’s heart is racing. 

He settles down between Donghyuck’s legs and lets Donghyuck wrap his arms around Taeil’s stomach. 

Donghyuck as a twenty-seven year old is both taller and broader than Taeil as a twenty-one year old. 

“This is nice,” Donghyuck says, tucking his chin over Taeil’s shoulder. He smells like shampoo and cologne -- the same kind he uses in Taeil’s universe. It’s comforting really. 

“For you,” Taeil grumbles. 

“Of course it is for me,” Donghyuck replies. Taeil can feel his laughter through his chest. “I’m always greedy when it comes to you.” 

Donghyuck’s hands stroke softly over Taeil’s stomach. Taeil goes still. 

“Aren’t we watching a movie?” he squeaks out. 

“Mmm. I guess,” Donghyuck replies, sounding almost disappointed. 

He reaches for a remote and turns on the TV that hangs on the wall opposite Donghyuck and Yuta’s beds. 

“What do you feel like watching?” Taeil asks. 

“Something romantic,” Donghyuck answers. Something flutters in Taeil’s stomach. 

He lets Donghyuck pick out a rom-com, a movie that he’s sure that Donghyuck has watched a hundred times over. 

Taeil can feel Donghyuck’s heartbeat slow as the movie plays. He’s growing sleepy himself, only half paying attention to the movie. He settles further against Donghyuck’s broad chest. 

“Are you falling asleep?” Donghyuck murmurs into his ear. 

“No,” Taeil mumbles. 

“It’s okay if you want to sleep.” 

“I’ll go to my room.” 

“Or… You could just stay here,” Donghyuck offers. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEEEEEEE I think this is my favourite update up to this point. I hope you enjoy!!!!!!

It takes Taeil a little while to realize that he’s been swapped with his younger self for almost two months. He’d just presumed that one day he would wake up and be back in his older body but he keeps waking up each day as a twenty-one year old. 

It isn’t so different really. He’s still a member of 127 and now Dream, he lives in the same building, he interacts with the same people. Besides, he has the energy that comes with being a twenty-one year old, which explains why Donghyuck had always been able to manage both his group promotions, Taeil realizes. He’d always admired Donghyuck’s ability to remain optimistic and cheerful despite his insane schedule but he’s coming to realize that it’s just easier to do when you’re young. 

There isn’t much that he misses about being older, except maybe how he gets treated by the others, but now he gets absolutely coddled by everyone. It’s far more coddling than Donghyuck got as the youngest so Taeil doesn’t understand why everyone loves to spoil him. 

Taeil also doesn’t understand why Donghyuck is so bothered by everyone spoiling him. He swats Johnny’s hand away when he gropes Taeil’s stomach, glares at Yuta when he slaps Taeil’s butt, and outright pulls Jungwoo off when he chooses to cling to Taeil.

“Is something up?” Taeil asks when Donghyuck physically moves Mark so he can sit beside Taeil on the sofa one evening. 

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck asks nonchalantly. Taeil rolls his eyes.

“Why are you so weird about people being close to me?”

“I’m not!” Donghyuck squawks in response. 

Taeil squeezes Donghyuck’s cheek fondly.

“Yes you are,” he says warmly. Donghyuck turns his face to look at Taeil. 

“I’m not,” he replies. “Okay. Well… You know how I am about certain things.”

“What? Like your computer?” Taeil asks with an amused laugh. “Taeil bot turning on!”

Donghyuck is silent for a moment. Taeil can hear Mark and Yuta cooking something. 

“I like being around you,” Donghyuck says. “I can’t help myself.”

“I like being around you too,” Taeil says. “I promise that the others aren’t stealing me away from you.”

“I don’t think that,” Donghyuck protests weakly and Taeil knows that he’s gotten to the crux of the issue. 

“It’s okay if you do,” he says in a teasing tone. “You’re protective of the things you love.” 

Donghyuck visibly stiffens and Taeil wonders if he misspoke. Of course Donghyuck loves him, he confesses his love to Taeil at least twice a day. Taeil is saved in Donghyuck’s phone as “taeil, my love”. 

“Don’t make fun of me,” Donghyuck says and stands up quickly. Taeil immediately misses the warmth that his body brought. He watches incredulously as Donghyuck disappears into his and Yuta’s room and closes the door loudly. 

“What was that?” Jaehyun asks, looking between Taeil and Donghyuck’s door.

“I don’t know.”

//

Donghyuck is sulky towards Taeil for a grand total of one morning and then he’s back to his usual affectionate self. 

“Taeil-ie!” he crows as he throws himself onto Taeil. 

“Yes?” Taeil asks. 

“Do you want to go get a coffee?” 

“We could just order-”

“No, I want to go out,” Donghyuck interrupts, tugging at Taeil’s hands.

“Okay,” Taeil agrees. “Let’s go.”

“Yay!” Donghyuck says. “I know just the place.”

It turns out that Donghyuck didn’t want a coffee from the normal place that they order delivery from, he drives them to a cafe tucked away just outside Myeongdong. It’s a gorgeous cafe -- all light wood, flowers, and dim lighting -- with soft indie music playing. 

“I’ll order for us,” Donghyuck says. “You go find us a table.”

“Okay, I’ll get an iced americano with-”

“No milk and two sugars. I know!” Donghyuck finishes with a soft smile. 

Taeil doesn’t know why his heart starts beating a little faster at Donghyuck’s words. He nods and goes to find an open table. The only available one is a loveseat tucked away in the back of the cafe. Taeil takes a seat and looks around the cafe -- there seems to be only couples having coffee. There’s a man feeding his girlfriend a bite of cheesecake, and a woman sharing a smoothie with her boyfriend. The vibe certainly seems romantic, Taeil thinks. 

Donghyuck returns with two coffees and three desserts, all of which seem to be heart-shaped. 

“What’s this?” Taeil asks. Donghyuck slides a coffee in Taeil’s direction and takes a seat, placing the desserts on the table. Taeil gulps -- he didn’t realize that at this table they’d be forced to sit so close to one another.

“Dessert,” Donghyuck answers. 

“Three of them?”

“I thought we could share.”

“Oh…”

“I got the things you like -- strawberry and cream cake, matcha cheesecake, and a teddy bear roll,” Donghyuck says, pointing to each of the desserts. 

“There’s only one fork,” Taeil says. “I’ll go get another one-”

“It’s fine,” Donghyuck interrupts smoothly. “I’ll feed you hmm?” 

//

Donghyuck’s phone rings with a distinct ringtone while Taeil is eating with the tenth floor members. 

“It’s my mom,” he says. “Be right back.”

Jungwoo makes a fake moaning noise as Donghyuck walks away and Yuta smacks him while Mark laughs.

Donghyuck appears in the living room again a few minutes later, phone pressed to his ear. 

“Taeil,” Donghyuck hisses,“my mom wants to say hi to you. You can say no if you don’t want to.” His expression is apologetic. 

“I can say hi,” Taeil replies and takes the phone from Donghyuck’s hand. “Hi mom,” he greets without thinking. Jungwoo makes a startled noise. 

“Hello Taeil!” Donghyuck’s mother greets warmly. “How are you? It’s been so long since we last spoke.”

“I’m good thank you,” he answers. He can feel Donghyuck’s eyes on him and he turns to meet Donghyuck’s gaze. 

“Donghyuck told me that you’re too skinny these days so I’ll come visit him and bring lots of extra food for you. You need to be healthy.”

“You don’t need to do that,” he protests.

“Of course I do,” she replies and Taeil swears that he can hear her smile. “You’re Donghyuck’s favourite. And don’t tell him this but you’re my favourite too.” Taeil laughs.

“He’s my favourite too,” Taeil says. 

“Donghyuck said that you hurt yourself and that’s why you haven’t come to see me when he’s visited the last few times.” Taeil’s brain short-circuits a little bit. 

“Oh,” he says. 

“Is everything okay? Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, I am. So I guess I’ll have to come see you soon then,” Taeil says, feeling his heart speed up. Donghyuck is staring at him. 

“Excellent! I’ll make pork belly just for you.”

“Oh, thank you,” Taeil says with a smile. “And you’re doing well? All healthy and happy?” Donghyuck’s mom makes a pleased noise. 

“So kind and considerate,” she coos. “Of course I’m fine. I have healthy kids and a healthy son-in-law. Why wouldn’t I be fine?” 

They chat for a few more minutes about the weather and what Donghyuck’s mom has been cooking and then finally she says goodbye. Taeil hangs up with a smile and passes Donghyuck’s phone back to him. Somehow everyone else has disappeared from the living room without him noticing, leaving just Taeil and Donghyuck. 

“What did she say?” Donghyuck asks him. 

“Nothing much.”

“You talked for like five minutes.”

“Just… this and that,” Taeil answers. “She asked how I’ve been doing.”

Realization dawns across Donghyuck’s face. 

“I-”

“It’s okay,” Taeil says. “She was worrying about me. Of course you had to lie to cover for me.”

“But-”

“It’s fine, Donghyuck.” The corner of Donghyuck’s mouth quirks upwards. 

“I like how you always talk like you’re older than me. It’s refreshing.” Taeil’s eyes go wide. He spoke before even realizing that he’s overstepping his role as the youngest. 

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I said that I like it. I take care of you, and you take care of me hmm?”

“Yeah,” Taeil answers. The living room suddenly seems awfully quiet. “Let me know if you want to go see your mom and I’ll come with.”

Donghyuck stares at him.

“I will. She’s been asking to see you for a while.”

“I’ll go see her then.”

“You don’t need to.”

“That’s okay. I really don’t mind. She’s nice.”

“Did you meet her in your universe?” Donghyuck asks. Taeil nods. 

“She always asked me to take care of you. I guess that’s flipped around here,” he replies with a laugh. “I’m your baby here.” Donghyuck swallows visibly. 

“I suppose that’s true.”

“It’s late. I should go to bed,” Taeil says, feeling a sense of self-consciousness come over him. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Taeil,” Donghyuck says softly.

//

Taeil goes out drinking with Jungwoo and Jaehyun. It’s lowkey, because it has to be, but they have a good time anyways and Taeil finds himself at a pleasant level of buzzed. When they come back to the tenth floor, so does Taeil. They don’t say anything about Taeil going into his old room, which is why it takes Taeil a few moments to realize what he’s done. 

Yuta isn’t there and there’s no sign that he’s even in for the night so Taeil slumps into the other bed, crawling under the covers. The first sign that something is amiss is that the sheets smell like Donghyuck -- his cologne, his deodorant, and his sweat. Taeil burrows his face against the pillow. Donghyuck always smells so good, he thinks happily.

Donghyuck comes in later, washed up for bed. His hair is damp against his face and he’s just in sleep shorts. His ab definition is something that’s certainly different from Taeil’s Donghyuck. This Donghyuck has the muscles that only come from age. 

“You’re drunk,” Donghyuck says tensely when he sees Taeil peering at him from under the covers.

“I’m not,” Taeil slurs. His eyes don’t move from Donghyuck’s exposed skin. 

“Yes, you are,” Donghyuck replies, putting his towel down with more force than necessary. 

“I’ve never gotten mad at you for drinking,” Taeil retorts. “Why are you so angry?”

“I’m not angry,” Donghyuck replies. “I just… You should be careful.”

“I am careful. More careful than you!” Taeil replies with a pout. 

“Taeil,” Donghyuck starts off with a sigh, standing at the foot of the bed. Taeil doesn’t understand why, he just wants Donghyuck to cuddle up to him. “What are you doing here?”

“This is my bed,” Taeil says. Donghyuck’s expression morphs into something strange. 

“It was your bed, yes,” he says carefully.

“It smells like you.”

“Well I do sleep here.”

“But it’s my bed.” Donghyuck lets out a heavy sigh at Taeil’s response. 

“Just stay here,” Donghyuck says. “I don’t like anybody else seeing you like this.”

“But you’re allowed to see me?”

“Of course. I’m your oppa, aren’t I?”

“Oppa. Come to bed,” Taeil whines. Donghyuck swallows. 

“Taeil-ah, you’re pushing it,” he mutters. 

“Pushing what?” Taeil asks. “I’m tired and you’re right here. Come cuddle.”

“I forgot how much of a menace you are when you’re drunk,” Donghyuck grumbles. 

“I’m cute,” Taeil says. “That’s what Jaehyun and Jungwoo told me.”

“They… Yes. You are very cute and it’s very dangerous.”

“If I’m cute then why aren’t you coming to bed?”  
Donghyuck lets out another sigh. He mutters something to himself that Taeil doesn’t understand and then walks to the side of the bed and lifts up the covers to get in. Taeil immediately cuddles up into Donghyuck, wrapping his arms around Donghyuck’s stomach and putting a leg between Donghyuck’s legs. 

“Much better,” he says. 

“You’re only like this because you’re drunk,” Donghyuck says stiffly. Actually, his whole body is stiff, Taeil realizes. 

“I like the smell of your body wash,” he says and slides a hand against Donghyuck’s firm stomach, feeling the way the muscles tense under his touch. “Mmm strong.” He can hear Donghyuck taking some deep breaths. 

“Are you okay?” he asks. “Did I do something?” 

“Yes,” Donghyuck replies. “Yes, you did something.” 

“What did I do?”

“I think you should go to bed. In your own room. This isn’t your bed anymore,” Donghyuck says tensely. “I’ll walk you down.”

“But-”

“It’s late. Let’s go.”

Johnny looks extremely confused when Donghyuck all but dumps Taeil into his arms. 

“He ended up in my room by accident,” Donghyuck says. 

“It wasn’t an accident,” Taeil mutters. 

“It was an accident. He didn’t mean it,” Donghyuck grits out. 

“I’ve got him,” Johnny replies gently. “Goodnight Hyuck.”

“Goodnight oppa,” Taeil says, his eyelids feeling heavier and heavier. “Sleep well.”

“Oh fuck,” Johnny mutters. “No wonder you took him downstairs.”

“Huh?” Taeil asks. 

“Nothing,” Donghyuck replies. “I… I’m going to bed now.”

“So are we. Come on Taeil,” Johnny says, leading Taeil into their room. “You should get changed for bed. Can you do that?”

“I’m not a child,” Taeil grumbles as he clumsily gets into his pajamas. The alcohol is already starting to wear off and he feels sleepy. 

He doesn’t even notice getting into bed and falling asleep, he just does. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something short but the next update will be longer! Happy Valentines Day lovers.

Taeil’s head pounds when he wakes up the next morning and his tongue feels like it’s stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“Are you feeling okay?” Johnny asks. Taeil looks blearily over at Johnny’s bed.

“Ugh,” Taeil replies.

“You were pretty drunk.”

“I’m never drinking again. Don’t let me drink again,” Taeil groans. 

“I think you ought to apologize to Donghyuck hyung,” Johnny says carefully. The words seem so absurd to Taeil. 

“Why?” he asks. 

“You weren’t yourself last night.”

“He wasn’t himself either. I’m an adult and I’m allowed to drink,” Taeil says. 

“Not for that,” Johnny says gently. “You threw yourself at him.”

“Threw myself at him?” Taeil repeats. He replays his interactions with Donghyuck the night before in his mind. He can’t think of anything that would upset Donghyuck. They cuddled and then Donghyuck took him back to his room. “I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,” Taeil says. 

Johnny sighs. 

“Never mind,” he says. 

//

Taeil goes to find Donghyuck -- he wants to gauge if Donghyuck is as mad at him as Johnny suggested.

“Morning,” Jungwoo says sleepily when Taeil lets himself into the tenth floor dorm. “You’re here early.”

“Where’s Donghyuck?” Taeil asks. The door to Donghyuck and Yuta’s room is closed.

“He left early this morning,” Jungwoo answers. “He said something about doing something at the company.”

“Oh. Okay,” Taeil replies. He doesn’t understand why he feels a little disappointed. 

“If you’re here, do you want to play Kart Rider though?” Jungwoo asks excitedly.

“Sure,” Taeil says, trying and failing to sound enthusiastic.

//

Donghyuck doesn’t look happy to see Taeil when they finally run into each other four days after Donghyuck carried him back to his room. Taeil went to the tenth floor every day only to find Donghyuck gone for the day, no matter how early he woke up. 

“Are you mad at me?” Taeil blurts out. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” Donghyuck answers tensely. 

“That’s not fair,” Taeil says. “You don’t get to be mad at me and not explain why. That’s manipulative and you know it.”

“I keep forgetting that you’re actually twenty-seven year old Taeil,” Donghyuck mutters. He’s staring at the floor and that’s the most conclusive piece of evidence to suggest that he’s mad at Taeil. Donghyuck never avoids eye contact. 

“If I’ve done something please tell me and I’ll apologize. Please,” Taeil pleads. Donghyuck is silent for a long moment. 

“Hyuck,” Taeil whispers. “I’m sorry. You know I never want to hurt you.”

“I know you don’t,” Donghyuck says. “I’m just… I was dumb.”

“Why? Because of something I did?” Taeil presses. 

“You didn’t know.”

“Huh?” 

“It’s fine. I overreacted to something you did accidentally,” Donghyuck explains. Taeil blinks in confusion. 

“You aren’t making any sense.”

Donghyuck squeezes Taeil’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay,” he says. “I promise. I’m not mad at you any more.”

“I’m sorry anyways,” Taeil says. “What did I do? I need to know so I won’t do it again.”

“You just got a little confused about your room and it surprised me,” Donghyuck says tensely. Taeil pauses. That was the last thing he’d ever think that Donghyuck would be mad at. 

“Okay?” he asks. “I won’t do it again.”

“It’s fine. You were drunk. You used to sleep there with-,”Donghyuck cuts himself off. 

“With?”

“With… Yuta,” Donghyuck says quickly and awkwardly. Taeil knows that he’s lying but he doesn’t know who else he’d be sharing a room with other than Yuta.

“Okay,” Taeil says, trying to hide his confusion. Donghyuck would only lie to him for a good reason. He trusts Donghyuck and since he’s the one in the wrong he drops it. 

//

Even though Donghyuck said that everything was fine between the two of them, Taeil can see that there’s something awkward hanging in the air between the two of them in the days after their conversation. 

So he does the only thing he can think of to get rid of the awkwardness -- Taeil orders Donghyuck’s favourite foods for the two of them and arranges for all the other members who live on the tenth floor to be out for the evening.

“Why do we need to leave?” Mark protests. Yuta winks at Taeil. 

“Sometimes when two people are in l- ouch!” Yuta is interrupted by Taeil kicking him. 

“In what?” Mark asks. 

“In trouble,” Jaehyun answers. “Come on, last one out has to pay!”

There’s a literal stampede out the door and Taeil can hear that Mark loses. 

So Taeil is alone in the dorm when Donghyuck gets home from his schedule. 

“Oh,” Donghyuck says, eyes wide as he takes in Taeil sitting in the living room. “What are you doing here?”

“I got food for us,” he says and points to the delivery. “I thought we could eat together if you weren’t busy.” Different expressions flash across Donghyuck’s face.

“I’m not busy,” Donghyuck says. “That’s… that’s really nice of you Taeil.”

It’s the least strained thing that he’s said to Taeil in days. Taeil smiles at him and the tension in his chest relaxes. 

“Come sit down,” he says. “You must be tired.” 

“You got all my favourites,” Donghyuck says as he takes a seat beside Taeil. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. What do you want first? I’ll serve you.”

“Taeil,” Donghyuck says, putting a hand over Taeil’s as he reaches for a container of beef short ribs. “You didn’t need to do all this for me.”

“I know,” Taeil says. “I just wanted to.”

He looks up from the food and finds Donghyuck closer than he expected. Close enough that their faces are almost touching. Close enough that Taeil inhales Donghyuck’s cologne and sweat scent with each breath. Close enough that they could kiss. Taeil’s heart flutters at that thought. 

“Let me do this for you,” he whispers. Donghyuck swallows.

“Okay,” Donghyuck whispers back and then practically launches away from Taeil.

Despite the lack of awkwardness during their meal, Taeil feels more confused than ever.

Why was Donghyuck so jumpy? Why was Donghyuck suddenly so averse to touch when he's spent his entire friendship with Taeil trying to touch as much as possible?

And why did he feel so funny when he thought about kissing Donghyuck? 


	5. Chapter 5

Taeil is about to round the corner to the kitchen on the tenth floor one afternoon when he hears something that gives him pause. 

“Hyuck’s crush is pretty bad,” Jaehyun is saying. Taeil’s mouth falls open. He stops walking. The mention of Donghyuck’s crush makes him feel very strange. He’s never heard anything about Donghyuck having a crush.

“Is crush even the right word?” Jungwoo asks. “Based on what they were before…”

“Well seeing as they aren’t together anymore,” Yuta says with a laugh. Taeil’s head is practically spinning. Donghyuck’s crush is an ex? 

“Poor Donghyuck,” Johnny says. “How’s he doing?” 

“He’s… I don’t know. He’s trying but I don’t know if it’s working. Not when they’re so close,” Yuta says. His answer seems careful. Taeil pauses -- Donghyuck is close to his crush? 

“He’s stronger than I’d be if I were him,” Jungwoo says. “I don’t have to see my girl at work.”

Taeil’s heart speeds up even faster. He takes a deep breath and walks into the kitchen. The moment that they catch sight of him, the topic of conversation changes, which confuses Taeil even more. Why would Donghyuck’s crush be a secret from him?

//

“Donghyuck has a crush? On who?” he asks Johnny when they’re getting ready for bed that night. Johnny lets out an undeniably hollow laugh.

“Donghyuck?” Johnny asks, sounding amused. Taeil raises an eyebrow. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“You’re asking who he has a crush on?” 

“Uh, yeah.” Johnny lets out a snort. 

“You ought to ask him,” Johnny says, climbing into his bed. “He’ll tell you if he wants.”

“But why can’t you tell me?” Taeil wheedles. 

“Because it isn’t my business,” Johnny answers. “You wouldn’t want me to tell anybody about your crush would you?”

“I don’t have a crush!” Taeil blusters. He doesn’t know why he feels so self-conscious. “Why would you think I have a crush? I’ve never done anything to suggest that I have a crush so I don’t know why you’d say that.”

Johnny looks at him for a long moment. 

“I’m tired. I think I’m going to go to bed now,” he says. “Good night Taeil.”

Taeil tosses and turns thinking about Donghyuck and wondering who he has a crush on. Donghyuck is gorgeous, charming, and rich -- he could get any woman he wanted. Yet Taeil can’t recall seeing Donghyuck with anybody. He’s talked about girls that he found cute like they all do but he’s never spoken about anybody beyond that: no girlfriend, no flirting, no hookups. So for Donghyuck to have an ex/crush that Taeil doesn’t know about feels a little like a betrayal. Donghyuck has always leaned on him as a hyung, so to know that there are secrets between them throws him off. There’s another strange feeling too whirling in the pit of his stomach that he can’t identify. 

He’s curious about the kind of person that Donghyuck would be attracted to. How does Donghyuck treat them? Taeil wonders if he spoils his crush like he spoils Taeil, or if he’s the aloof type. 

He sighs and stares at his phone for a moment, wondering if he should just text Donghyuck and ask him outright. No, Taeil thinks, he’s going to wait to let Donghyuck tell him first. That’s the way they’ve always been -- Taeil doesn’t prod, and Donghyuck tells him things when he’s ready.

If only that were easy, Taeil thinks. He’s strangely desperate to know what’s going on with Donghyuck’s love life and if he’s being honest with himself, he doesn’t fully understand why. 

//

Preparations for a new comeback begin with Dream which means that Taeil spends less time with the 127 members. He gets used to long hours in the dance studio with members that aren’t 127 and works hard to memorize the choreography and practice his high notes.

It’s probably the combination of little sleep and being around more people than usual leads to Taeil’s nose starting to run and his throat starting to hurt a few days before they’re set to film the music video. 

“You don’t look so good,” Jungwoo says when Taeil comes to visit the tenth floor. It feels as though it’s been forever since he’s seen the tenth floor members and he’s been missing the presence of one of them in particular. 

“I’m fine,” Taeil says but Jungwoo reaches out a hand to press against Taeil’s forehead. “Shit, you’re warm.”

“Does he have a fever?” Donghyuck asks, frowning. 

“I can’t tell,” Jungwoo answers.

“I’ll go get a thermometer,” Donghyuck says, disappearing into the bathroom and coming back with an entire first aid kit. 

“You really don’t look so good,” Jaehyun comments and Taeil sighs. Donghyuck takes the opportunity to shove a thermometer under Taeil’s tongue. Taeil isn’t fully paying attention and he ends up with the tip of Donghyuck’s thumb in his mouth too. His eyes snap to Donghyuck and slowly Donghyuck pulls his thumb from Taeil’s lips. 

Taeil can feel that Jungwoo and Jaehyun are staring at them but he can’t bring himself to move his eyes from Donghyuck. Donghyuck clears his throat and looks down at the thermometer. 

“Taeil, you have a fever,” he chides. 

“I’ll just take an ibuprofen tonight,” Taeil replies. 

“You ought to go to your room,” he says. 

“I’m fine. Just tired,” Taeil replies but he shivers as he does so. Donghyuck shares a look with Jaehyun and then disappears again. “What?”

“Let hyung take care of you,” Jungwoo says. 

Donghyuck appears again with a blanket from his bed and wraps Taeil tightly up. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Ignoring what you just said,” Donghyuck says, pulling the blanket up to Taeil’s chin. Taeil blinks at him. And then Donghyuck physically scoops him up as if he doesn’t weigh anything. 

“Donghyuck!” Taeil shrieks, voice cracking from his sore throat. 

“You’re sick Taeilie,” Donghyuck murmurs. 

“I can walk!” 

“Too late.”

Donghyuck carefully and gently carries him down to the fifth floor and lets himself into the dorm. It’s silent: Taeil knows that Johnny is out with his friends but he’d thought that Taeyong and Doyoung would be in.

Pushing the door to Taeil’s bedroom open, Donghyuck lowers Taeil onto his bed as though he’s the most precious thing in the world. Taeil carefully avoids eye contact with him. 

“I’ll go get you some medicine and some tea and then you should rest,” Donghyuck says. 

“Thank you for taking care of me,” Taeil says. He arranges himself under his covers but keeps Donghyuck’s blanket, breathing in the scent of Donghyuck’s deodorant and shampoo. He can hear Donghyuck puttering around the silent dorm and watches him come back in with a bottle of water, a bottle of sports drink, a mug of tea, and four kinds of medication. 

“Okay, maybe overkill for a slight cold,” he comments.

“You need to take care of yourself,” Donghyuck says. “People care and worry about you.”

“Do you?” Taeil asks. His fever is altering his brain to mouth filter. Donghyuck smiles softly. 

“Of course. And all your fans too.”

“Ah,” Taeil says. He feels strangely disappointed by Donghyuck’s answer but he takes the pill that Donghyuck offers and swallows it with some water. “I’m okay. I promise.” 

“Good night Taeilie,” Donghyuck murmurs. Taeil cuddles himself under the covers, wishing idly that Donghyuck was in bed too. 

“Goodnight Hyuckie,” Taeil says back sleepily, his eyes drifting shut. He hears Donghyuck inhale sharply. There’s a soft brush of something against his forehead. 

“Hmm?” he slurs. 

“Sleep well love,” Donghyuck whispers and then Taeil falls asleep. 

//

Taeil is at the company for comeback meetings and dance practice when he hears a familiar laugh. He turns immediately in the hallway to see Donghyuck standing with a gorgeous woman that Taeil doesn’t recognize. Even though he’s staring right at Donghyuck, Donghyuck doesn’t notice Taeil. Something prickles at Taeil’s heart. 

Worse, Donghyuck is all charming smiles and jokes. Taeil finds himself rooted to the spot as he watches the woman practically fall over herself to touch Donghyuck’s arm and bat her eyelashes at him. 

An awful feeling roils in Taeil’s stomach. He doesn’t want Donghyuck to be smiling at a pretty woman -- he wants to be the only one that Donghyuck looks at fondly. Donghyuck is only supposed to spoil him and cuddle him close, nobody else. He’s jealous, he realizes, and he hates it. He doesn't do jealous, he always gets what he wants. 

“Hyuckie!” he calls down the hallway, watching both Donghyuck and the woman turn to face him. Donghyuck smiles at him, an entirely different smile than the one he’d given the beautiful woman, and Taeil grins back in victory. His feet are taking him towards Donghyuck before he even realizes what is happening. He launches himself at Donghyuck, wrapping his arms possessively around Donghyuck and Donghyuck’s arms come to wrap around him. Taeil smiles at the woman. 

“Hello. I don’t believe we’ve met,” he says with a smile, arms wrapping more tightly around Donghyuck. “I can’t stay for long, I need to go to practice but it’s nice seeing you Donghyuck-ah.”

Donghyuck looks a little dazed. Taeil allows himself one more squeeze, enjoying the feel of Donghyuck’s muscles under his hands and then he slips away to dance practice. 


	6. Chapter 6

  
Taeil is lounging on his bed later that night when there’s a knock on the door.

“Yes?” Taeil calls out. He’s confused -- all the members always just barge into everyone’s room. Donghyuck opens the door carefully. 

“Where’s Johnny?” he asks. 

“Out. I don’t know,” Taeil answers. “I can text him if you want to talk to him.”

“No,” Donghyuck says, shutting the door behind him. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Me?”

“What was that today at the company?” Donghyuck asks. 

“I was saying hello,”

“I was talking to that woman.”

“Oh,” Taeil says. “Sorry.” He isn’t sorry at all. Donghyuck sighs. 

“It’s fine. You just aren’t usually so… touchy,” Donghyuck says. 

“Do you want me to touch you more?” Taeil asks. 

“What?” Donghyuck asks, looking confused and almost flustered. 

Mostly just to see Donghyuck’s reaction, Taeil impulsively gets off his bed and folds himself against Donghyuck’s chest. 

“Better?” Taeil asks. Donghyuck’s hands tentatively come up around Taeil. “Was that woman who you have a crush on?” Taeil blurts out, face pressed in Donghyuck’s chest Donghyuck goes stiff.

“Who told you I have a crush?” he demands. Taeil is confused. 

“Uh, everyone?” he answers. Donghyuck makes a grumbling noise. “I overheard them. They didn’t outright tell me,” Taeil amends. Donghyuck sighs and pulls Taeil away from his chest so that they make eye contact. 

“I don’t have a crush,” he says. “As usual, the members are talking out of their asses. And none of them are even as big as yours.”

“So you don’t have a crush?” Taeil asks, feeling disappointment rise up.

“No. That doesn’t properly describe my feelings towards the person I like,” Donghyuck answers. “Why are you asking?” 

“I have a crush,” Taeil says. His heart is pounding. Donghyuck’s eyes widen. 

“You do? On who?”

“You didn’t tell me who you like so why should I tell you who I like?” Taeil asks, poking a finger into Donghyuck’s firm chest.

“I suppose you’re right,” Donghyuck says, looking strangely serious. “Can I get a clue at least?”

“Only if you give me a clue about your person.”

“Deal,” Donghyuck agrees. “You first.”

“They take care of me,” Taeil says, heart racing even faster.

“You’re the youngest. Everyone takes care of you. Not specific enough,” Donghyuck says, narrowing his eyes. 

“Ugh. Okay. Um, they’re taller than me?”

“Taeilie, no offense but so are most people.”

“Donghyuck! I’m not giving you any more hints,” Taeil protests. Donghyuck smiles. 

“But I won’t give you a hint unless you give me a hint,” he says teasingly. Taeil feels his curiosity threatening to get the best of him. 

“They’re different from me except in the ways that matter. They’re kind and considerate to everyone. They’re selfless in how they take care of me. They smell good. They’re always touching me and I’d hate it if it were anyone else but I love it because it’s them. They’re always praising me despite the fact that they’re endlessly talented themselves,” Taeil rambles. He hadn’t anticipated how much he’d have to say. 

Donghyuck’s gaze is intense on him. 

“Does that help?” Taeil asks, feeling strangely breathless. “Now what about you?”

“They have brown hair,” Donghyuck says simply and then reaches out and pinches Taeil’s cheek. 

“Half of Korea has brown hair!” Taeil protests. 

“A hint is a hint,” Donghyuck says in a sing-song voice. Taeil groans.

“God. You really are the same in both universes aren’t you?”

//

Taeil can’t help but think about Donghyuck’s useless hint after Donghyuck leaves. Right now among the members — besides himself — both Yuta and Mark have brown hair at the moment along with at least half of their staff and friends. 

He sighs. He’d been hoping for a sign that maybe Donghyuck likes him back but instead Donghyuck opened up the scope of his potential crush to the entire world. 

His hopes are fruitless, he realizes. Even the woman Donghyuck was talking to at the company had brown hair. Taeil groans into his pillow. If this were the other universe Donghyuck would’ve flat out told Taeil who he liked. Instead, he’s stuck with an older but just as stubborn Donghyuck who seems to take pleasure in torturing Taeil with as few details as possible.

“Why are you so distracted?” Johnny asks Taeil the next morning as they’re getting ready. 

“No reason,” Taeil says. “Do you know why Donghyuck won’t tell me who he likes?” Johnny coughs. 

“You asked him?” Johnny asks as he pulls his sweater over his head.

“Yeah. He won’t tell me.”

“Well,” Johnny starts. “Imagine someone is on a diet and you take them to a bakery for lunch.”

“What does that have to do with Donghyuck and I?” Taeil asks. Johnny has a constipated expression on his face.

“Okay, imagine you waking up from surgery and you can’t remember your wife or husband but you hit on them.”

“No offense but you give the worst analogies,” Taeil says.

//

He’s quiet in the car to where they’re filming the Dream music video. He’d thought that he and Donghyuck are different in this universe, except that isn’t quite true. 

Donghyuck pays more attention to him in this universe but Taeil told himself that it was due to the age swap -- Donghyuck is just doing his job as the oldest to take care of the youngest. But he does the exact same kinds of things towards Taeil in the other universe too and he’s always relished that. Taeil has always liked being treated differently by Donghyuck. He likes being spoiled and doted on by Donghyuck, regardless of their ages.

Something close to realization shifts in Taeil’s stomach: he likes Donghyuck in every universe. 

He hardly thinks about Donghyuck for the rest of the day because he doesn’t even have a moment to himself. There’s too much to do with shooting the music video and taking behind the scenes footage. He’s grateful for his younger body because there’s no way that his older self would be able to chase after Chenle and Jaemin the way Donghyuck does. 

//

He ends up getting back to the dorm close to two in the morning, kept late by shooting and re-shooting over and over again. Taeil collapses into his bed only to be awoken a few hours later for another gruelling day. 

He tells himself that it’s the sleep deprivation that leads him to Donghyuck’s bed after dinner. Neither Yuta nor Donghyuck are at the dorm and Taeil just crashes, wrapped up in Donghyuck’s cozy blankets. 

It’s the middle of the night when Taeil is gently shaken awake. 

“Yes?” he slurs, expecting one of the managers. “Is something wrong?” 

“Are you drunk?” Donghyuck asks, his voice sounding half fond and half frustrated. 

“No,” he answers. “I’m tired.” 

“I’m tired too,” Donghyuck says. “And you’re in my bed. Again.”

“I like it here,” Taeil says, trying to wake himself up. “Okay. Sorry. I’ll go to my room.” 

He tries to sit up and Donghyuck simultaneously pulls him up too which leaves them pressed far too close to one another. Donghyuck’s handsome face is right in front of him, staring at Taeil as if he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. Taeil doesn’t often act on impulse but Donghyuck has always made him braver than he really is.

He leans in closer and without a moment of hesitation, brushes his lips gently against Donghyuck’s. The contrast between his chapped lips and Donghyuck’s soft lips is the best thing Taeil has ever felt. Donghyuck is still for a split second and then he’s kissing Taeil back, easily taking control of the kiss. And oh, Taeil thinks. This is what he’s been missing out on. Donghyuck is always manhandling him but it’s even more delicious when he’s being kissed.

But then Donghyuck practically pushes Taeil away from him, and because he’s only half-awake, he manages to fall off the bed.

“We shouldn’t have done that,” Donghyuck says harshly. He’s staring at the wall beside Taeil.

“Why are you pushing me away?” Taeil asks. “What’s wrong?”

Donghyuck has an unreadable expression on his face

“You really don’t know what that was for?”

“No. I don’t.”

“I can’t do this with you,” Donghyuck says raggedly. “You’re hurting me and you don’t even know it.”

“What am I doing?” Taeil asks. “Tell me!”

“You took away the Taeil that loves me back and you made me fall for you,” Donghyuck says bitterly. Taeil’s heart drops into his stomach. "I'm supposed to be in love with the other you and you took him away!"

“What are you talking about?” Taeil asks. "You fell for me?"

“The secret’s out now,” Donghyuck says. “Before you got here, we were together. Me and the younger you.” 

“We were?” Taeil asks. His head is reeling. He can’t believe what he’s hearing. 

“Yes. We were. So I don’t know what you want from me but I can’t handle this. You look like him but you aren’t him. You can’t just kiss me Taeil. You can’t hurt me like that. We're not... You're not him!”

“I’m-”

“Can you just… get out?” Donghyuck asks. He sounds so unbelievably heartbroken. 

“Donghyuck-”

“Please?” Donghyuck says. He looks so broken and upset that Taeil stands up and leaves without any further protest, even as his heart cracks in his chest. 

//

Taeil doesn’t fall back asleep. Guilt, anger, fear, and sadness roil in his brain. He’s never seen Donghyuck that upset in either universe and the knowledge that he was the one to make Donghyuck this upset makes it hurt even more. He’s always been the dependable older brother, the one Donghyuck turns to when he needs help or support, not the one to cause the pain or problem. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop!!! Okay -- I have an important notice for the next 2 chapters because this story is going to have 2 endings. Chapter 7 is where Taeil stays in this universe and Chapter 8 is where Taeil goes back to his original universe and you'll get to "pick" which ending you want and which Donghyuck Taeil ends up with. Why does it have 2 endings? Because I'm a moron and I stayed up until like 3 am one night thinking about the other universe and if they're in love in both then what happens!!!!
> 
> Time travelling logistics are fucking hard lmfao. Let me know if you have any questions and I'll try my best to answer them but honestly I'm dumb and get way too carried away with the metaphysics of it all lololol,


End file.
